I gonna write about a conflict between my ex-company and my client. Due to confidentiality issues, I shall not name the involved parties.
Few years back, I was working in a law firm specializing in enbloc sales. Being a personal assistant to a lawyer, my job scope included screening calls, attending meetings, handling clients and settling administration stuff. During the 6 months, I had a few encounters with enraged clients whom we are representing. I shall name one that is still fresh in my mind.
For a particular private estate, there was this old couple who had some legal issues with the selling of their flat. As my company was representing the sellers, we were obliged to help them settle the issues and we did. However, we had to go through some legal technicalities which required some time to settle. This did not go quite well with the old couple because they were worried that their legal issues would disrupt the enbloc sales (there are deadlines for each stage of the legal process). Hence, they kept calling us up everyday. However, we could not give them a good enough explanation for the delay in solving their issues because of confidentiality issues. We do not let our clients know the legal correspondence with the other legal parties. For example, a delay caused by some legal technicalities would be explained with a "there is quite some going to and fro with XX regarding this issue YY."
To add on to the lack of understanding between us and the old couple, there was no establishment of trust because my boss avoided their calls. My boss felt that answering their repeated calls everyday, was a waste of time. The old couple was really a handful but my boss's behaviour did put through to the old couple that my boss was just entertaining them and not really concerned about their interests. In addition, they could not get the reassurance they need because whatever I said had no credibility since I was not a lawyer. This enraged the old couple because they felt that as lawyers representing them, we should do our best to fight for their interests and be more proactive so as to speed things up. Also, the lawyers (not their personal assistant) should respond to their calls.
Whenever I took their calls, I tried to reassure them as best as I could while taking note that whatever I say could be a legal liability. I said the old couple was a handful because the wife would ramble on and on, explaining why there were so anxious (which we did not need to know) while the husband would scream to get his point across (partly because he is partially deaf). I was actually quite upset at his harsh tone and loud volume when I did not know he is partially deaf. In any case, the unnecessarily long conversation was too time-consuming.
Things improved after the old couple and my boss had a long talk. The old couple popped by our office to demand to talk to my boss without an appointment and my boss agreed to see them. I did not know what they communicated inside my boss's office, but the old couple was pleased after the session. The husband even apologised to me, explaining that he was screaming because he is partially deaf and his tone was harsh because he was angry at the slow moving of things, not at me. I felt good because I could feel the sincerity of his apology due to his facial expression and body language.
In hindsight, this conflict was resolved because of proper communication and establishment of trust. What do you think could have contributed to this conflict? When they were finally able to have a long talk with my boss without an appointment, they did not feel that my boss was entertaining them. Instead, they felt respected because a lawyer's time is money and yet my boss gave them the time they need to get the reassurance they need. It also led them to believe the sincerity of my boss in resolving their legal issues. I learned that acts (behaviour) can also unintentionally communicate or signal something to the recipients, other than one's body language. Also, I find that face-to-face communication is far more convincing than phone or email correspondence. If you have survived reading through my long post, what is your take on my last 2 sentences?
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Importance of developing effective communication skills
Humans are social animals. It is impossible for us to live a day without any form of communication with fellow human beings. Communication is a basic tool that allows us to interact with and understand others.As such, developing effective communication skills is important to build mutual understanding, gain rapport, minimize conflicts and develop good interpersonal relationships.
I define effective communication skills as skills that enable one to use the right word with the right tone and behavioural cues, in the right sentence structure to convey meanings accurately in a way that is interpreted by the recipient correctly. In addition, effective communication skills require active listening so that one can respond to the recipient appropriately.
Be it in one's personal life or in the workplace, mutual understanding is important to develop good group dynamics and minimize office politics. Ideally, effective communication allows one to explain one's stand or views so that people are able to look at matters in one's perspectives and understand where one is coming from. In such a situation, group discussions would be facilitated in the workplace and in one's personal life, misunderstandings could be minimized.
I'm sure we have encountered situations in which, people find fault with our comments which were made innocently. We could have unknowingly rubbed another the wrong way with our tone or our inappropriate choice of words. Or, we could bridge the gap between two people by reacting appropriately to the other's behaviour. For example, I was talking to a potential supervisor for my Final Year Project about his interest in accepting honours students. However, he said honours students are a burden to him. I find his choice of word "burden" disturbing. On another hand, I have learnt that the phrases "I do understand where you are coming from." or "I can completely understand how you are feeling now." can help to build greater rapport with others.
In addition to verbal communication, behavioural communication like eye contact (not more than 75% of the time) and smiles can diffuse any tense or awkard situations. Eye contact should not be established 100% of the time one is communicating with another because it can be intimidating. However, one should note the cultures of the other party. If the other party is a Muslim, people of the opposite sex shouldn't have eye contact for more than one or two second. This is true for traditional and pious Muslims. The modern Muslims don't really abide by this cultural rule though. To show interest in another's conversation, one can bend your upper body slightly forward when one is sitting. If one is standing, face the front of one's body towards the talking party.
Communication involves 2-way traffic. When one is talking, the other should listen actively. The latter means, asking of questions or acknowledging what the other party is talking about. For example, person A is talking to person B about her issues at home. Person B can listen actively by dropping "Oh my, you are definitely having a rough time." or "Oh my gosh, such things can actually happen?" at the appropriate junction.
When there's mutual understanding and rapport, conflicts can be minimized and good interpersonal relationships can be cultivated in all aspects of one's life. In the workplace, there would be higher level of productivity and greater chance of promotion (good working relationship with colleagues is a factor of consideration). In turn, one's quality of living and even standard of living would be increased. So, tell me, is developing effective communication skills important?
I define effective communication skills as skills that enable one to use the right word with the right tone and behavioural cues, in the right sentence structure to convey meanings accurately in a way that is interpreted by the recipient correctly. In addition, effective communication skills require active listening so that one can respond to the recipient appropriately.
Be it in one's personal life or in the workplace, mutual understanding is important to develop good group dynamics and minimize office politics. Ideally, effective communication allows one to explain one's stand or views so that people are able to look at matters in one's perspectives and understand where one is coming from. In such a situation, group discussions would be facilitated in the workplace and in one's personal life, misunderstandings could be minimized.
I'm sure we have encountered situations in which, people find fault with our comments which were made innocently. We could have unknowingly rubbed another the wrong way with our tone or our inappropriate choice of words. Or, we could bridge the gap between two people by reacting appropriately to the other's behaviour. For example, I was talking to a potential supervisor for my Final Year Project about his interest in accepting honours students. However, he said honours students are a burden to him. I find his choice of word "burden" disturbing. On another hand, I have learnt that the phrases "I do understand where you are coming from." or "I can completely understand how you are feeling now." can help to build greater rapport with others.
In addition to verbal communication, behavioural communication like eye contact (not more than 75% of the time) and smiles can diffuse any tense or awkard situations. Eye contact should not be established 100% of the time one is communicating with another because it can be intimidating. However, one should note the cultures of the other party. If the other party is a Muslim, people of the opposite sex shouldn't have eye contact for more than one or two second. This is true for traditional and pious Muslims. The modern Muslims don't really abide by this cultural rule though. To show interest in another's conversation, one can bend your upper body slightly forward when one is sitting. If one is standing, face the front of one's body towards the talking party.
Communication involves 2-way traffic. When one is talking, the other should listen actively. The latter means, asking of questions or acknowledging what the other party is talking about. For example, person A is talking to person B about her issues at home. Person B can listen actively by dropping "Oh my, you are definitely having a rough time." or "Oh my gosh, such things can actually happen?" at the appropriate junction.
When there's mutual understanding and rapport, conflicts can be minimized and good interpersonal relationships can be cultivated in all aspects of one's life. In the workplace, there would be higher level of productivity and greater chance of promotion (good working relationship with colleagues is a factor of consideration). In turn, one's quality of living and even standard of living would be increased. So, tell me, is developing effective communication skills important?
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